📍EEA: Networking Made Easy with Frank Agin

RJ Redden:

Hey, everybody out there. Hold on to your goggles. It is time for the EPIC engagement I am always, as your host, RJ Redden, bringing the most talented and brilliant to your disposal today. I'm talking to my friend, Frank, and we're gonna talk about, oh, we're gonna talk about so many things. but, Frank, can you tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do and just give us the background?

Frank Agin:

Yeah. You know, I'll give you I'll I'll give you my origin story since we're, this is kind of a superhero thing, right, Thiem? You are? every we all have origin stories. I live in Columbus, Ohio. I came here almost 40 years ago to go to law school. I have a law degree of an MBA. I started my career in public accounting. I was a tax consultant, which is a great job. It was great pay. It was great everything. I just didn't wanna do taxes for the rest of my life. I didn't wanna mess with the IRS. And most people, you know, unless there's an accountant out there, you you know, people get it. And so I left and went into the private practice of law, figuring out that that would be my next step. And I tell people a funny thing happened to me when I went into private practice of law and the funny things that nothing happened. I had no idea how to get clients. And that's it most everybody can relate to that That's probably part of everybody's origin story, if you will. it's especially complicated for an attorney because we can make jokes about attorneys. I do make jokes about attorneys. but attorneys are not supposed to be advertising or calling people. Now there are some exceptions for personal injury and certain things that need to be done. but by and large, attorneys don't advertise. They don't cold call. So what are you supposed to do? This is the mid nineties. I have no idea what I should be doing. Somebody said, why don't you go to a tips club or leads group? I'd really had no idea what they were talking about, but I went to a, there was an organization out of Pittsburgh. It was creating groups here in town. that met every week. People learned about each other, and they exchanged referrals. And I went to go visit and made total sense to me. I can lift my whole world up by just helping other people and trusting that they will do the same for me. So I really got involved in that. Really had a knack for it. It's so easy for me to, you know, RJ. She's great. It's so easy for me to promote other people. But as soon as you self promote, you know, it's like it's like Kryptonite. Right? It just kinda takes you down. I'm I'm trying to weave as much of, you get it. Right? Yeah. and, I really got involved in it. Really and so long story short, I ended up buying that business. back in the early 2000 and stop practicing law. And so my life now is helping entrepreneurs, helping professionals, helping people where referrals aren't happening in their in their world or, networking isn't working for them, or they might be in a lead group that's not really working for them. we do create groups out there. We're carrying a lot we create lots of groups. but that's what I do. I've got a podcast talking about relationships. written a number of books, do a lot of this, you know, sharing what I know. That's networking.

RJ Redden:

Oh, yeah. Well, in what you know, I know my audience is interested in this because my people are heart centered people. We are the people who's secretly wish that we did not have to do marketing at all because maybe just word will get around. Yep. and and so, you know, there's not a lot of quote, unquote marketing tools for people like us. there's not a whole lot out there. Everybody else is yelling, you know, everybody else is screaming from a stage and sitting on a beach with a laptop. Why would you ever do that anyway? I mean, you know, they've there's a lot of marketing that's kind of out there and and in your face and and I made a $1,000,000,000 in a weekend. That's not us. Networking is us.

Frank Agin:

Yeah.

RJ Redden:

So on behalf of the audience, I will ask you this, what is the most common misconception people have about networking.

Frank Agin:

Yeah. Well, let me just step back. The person who says they know, people tell you they made 7 figures. They're they're full of it. They're but, anyhow, I'll I digress. So we can have a whole podcast on, you know, on liars and losers. but, anyway, the biggest misconception about networking, The biggest conception about networking is that it's it it's really about, you know, they people confuse it with marketing or or pitching. And and that's not it. networking by my definition, by most people who are really good at it, It's about getting out there and helping other people, referring other people, talking other people up, and then trusting those people will do something in return. And that's really how I look at networking. And, you know, if you know, I don't spend every waking moment trying to help other people, but I, you know, I invest in other people. It doesn't always work out. It's not a perfect thing. It's not 1+1 equals

RJ Redden:

2,

Frank Agin:

you know, a 1000 percent of the time, but it works out enough of the time that it's worth invest thing in. It's worth, you know, helping other people because people will people will reciprocate. and a lot of times, they're not necessarily reciprocating with, you know, the business that you want. It might be here is well, you know, I before we hit record, we were talking about AI. Hey. Here's an angle to really make AI work for you. Well, that could be a game changer for you. You know, it's not it's not business, but that bit of information is almost better than business if it can help you you know, help you function better as a a coach or a consultant or or whatever you do. so I think that's the biggest misconception. you know, people it's kind of the the sleazy, aluminum siding salesperson, you know, that's how, you know, That's how I look at it.

RJ Redden:

That's how, that's how cautionary tales are born. Yeah. And and, you know, going back to that, it's kind of like, well, some people teach networking in that way. You know? And, they, they, you know, they look at it more like a a numbers game. give out this many business cards, and, you will, get this much business back, and the the whole pitch first mentality. You know? Yeah. They those who talk louder rule the conversation type of a thing.

Frank Agin:

Yeah.

RJ Redden:

So, you know, probably plenty of my people out there have been burned by bad marketing, bad networking advice, What would you say to somebody who's maybe tried networking to the best of their ability, but just maybe had the wrong advice It's not working with them. What do you say to those folks?

Frank Agin:

Well, I have had, I've had bad networking experiences. Right? I've had bad dating experiences. Right? I've had bad pizza experience. I love pizza, by the way. I've had bad movie experience. You know what? But I don't stop. You know, I didn't I'm married now, but I did updating. I didn't stop eating pizza. I didn't stop going to the movies. I don't stop networking. you know, there are people out there. There great people out there. And in fact, I had this exchange with somebody on on LinkedIn. They were like, yeah. You know, I'm just kinda rolling his eyes you know, in his words, he's rolling his eyes. And I just told him, I said, there are good people out there, and you have to keep trying to find them. And he well, he's like, well, how? And my advice is become the person you wanna network with. You know, stop looking for the hero hero out there. You need to be the hero. You need to be that knight in shining armor. because then you'll attract those people to you. Yes. You might get burned in the short run. There are people out there. but eventually like attracts like. And, you know, you've if somebody's having bad experiences, maybe they need to take a quick look inside. It's okay. What else can I be doing? To move myself along, to be a better to be a better person, to be somebody that other people It's like, wow. I really wanna know this person. That's, you know, that's how to approach it.

RJ Redden:

Absolutely. and that it's not that networking doesn't work. It's that they've been trained to do it in a way that sets their expectations weirdly. you know, I mean, I've had, I've had people tell me before you walk into the a room full of people, you need to sell 20% of them by the time the weekend's done or, you know, whatever.

Frank Agin:

Yeah.

RJ Redden:

and for a while putting that pressure on myself and expecting that kind of a turnaround in a very short period of time, It wasn't great. and but I blamed myself. And I know a lot of, folks when it comes to networking, they have you know, they have expectations that don't have any any burden. I'm sorry, burden. Any reference to reality.

Frank Agin:

Yeah.

RJ Redden:

You know, because somebody out there is, you know, basically saying, hit people over the head. And if you hit that many, you know, if you hit 10 over there, you're at the head too, we'll come back to your cave with you, basically, is the, you know, that big.

Frank Agin:

Right.

RJ Redden:

But, but, yeah, I mean, you know, I know that you I know you meet a lot of people. I mean, that's your business. and, and, you know, if I were a person who just had had a terrible time. If I were a person who, you know, was taught these things, you know, what is networking at its heart for you. If you could explain networking in less than 5 words or less than 10, we'll be nice. I don't wanna, I don't wanna never have to get to have you again because I only gave you five words. I'll give you 2.

Frank Agin:

Well, I think it's, you know, it's It's helping other people and trusting that they'll do the same for you. That's really what it is. I if I could, I'll let me tell a quick story.

RJ Redden:

Do it.

Frank Agin:

Famous anthropologists out there, Margaret Me. and she's very famous. she was teaching a class, and one of the students said to one of the students asked What was the first sign of human civilization? And she gathered herself and people were thinking, okay. It's clay pots. It's weapons. It's fire. This gotta be this. the wheel, whatever. And she said, a healed femur. If if femur is the bone that connects the needed of him, And in modern without modern medical care, it takes about 6 to

RJ Redden:

8

Frank Agin:

weeks for that to heal. And she's you know, all animals have a femur. All mammals have a femur. And she said in the animal world, when it when an animal breaks a femur, it's a death sentence. It can't move. It can't hunt. It can't protect itself. It can't forge its dead. It's a long, painful death, you know, or maybe a horrible short death. depending upon what's around. But when we came across the remains of humans who had a healed femur, We knew that humans had the propensity to care for one another, to stay behind, to put themselves at risk. And this is this is all dating back to when we were very, very nomadic, and we were and and movement was, you know, a big part of our existence and that people actually stayed behind and that when people stayed behind, 2 things happened.

RJ Redden:

1,

Frank Agin:

they had stronger numbers, right, because you heal this person, and they're gonna be better, and they're gonna, you know, you're better to have four people than 3. Right? So we're gonna be back at full strength. But the other thing that happened when you stop and you wait for people and help people is you build into them the notion of reciprocity. So when you break your femur or whatever it is, they're gonna do the same for you. And so what happened back then And I'm, you know, I'm speculating on all this, and I don't think I'm too far off. Nobody knows for sure, but imagine there's four people, and there's one group of people where three move on. Sorry about your luck, Charlie. We're moving on. You know what? They're not as strong. They're eventually gonna be two people. Whereas the group 4 is more likely to continue to be 4. And in time, the gene pools of the people who cared about one another just move forward. And I am fond of saying, I don't care about your race. I don't care about your color. I don't care about your religion. I don't care about sex orientation. I don't care about your politics. you have that DNA in in you. You have this DNA to care for people. And that's really what networking is when I say just care for other people, and they'll, you know, Nobody rejects Superman. Nobody ever rejects. Yeah. Maybe in the comics here, they have a really people, you know, they want that hero in their life. You know? And so if you're that hero out there, people are gonna want you to be part of their life, whether it's Superman or Wonder Woman or, you know, you know, across DC and Marvel Comics. But you get my point, right, is that if you're that hero, and that's what, you know, you'd be a to people, and they'll be a hero in return.

RJ Redden:

It's true. It's true. And, you know, I mean, I've it's often been people picking me up off the ground. you know, at certain times in my business, at certain times in my life, people who care to stop and care about someone else. When I'm looking at the the massive amounts of people that I could do business with, whom am I gonna choose? Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, and and that's that's, I think, you know, and and here's here's the tough thing about your business for sure is that There is no silver bullet quick fix that's going to get a hundred people bonded to you by the end of the day. This is this is a process. This is a relationship build. This is not Let's you and I get married. 2nd date U Haul comes along. we'll finish this by dinner. I mean, this is not it it is not it is not easy. It well, it it can be easy depending on how much of a giver you are. I'm a giver. You're a giver. I mean, super easy, but it does take time, and it does take investment. And, you know, and, like, it's not something you can point at on a spreadsheet and say, I got 3.6, ROI -- Yeah. you know, those things are valuable, but what I consider more valuable is connection, everyday connection.

Frank Agin:

Yeah. No. It it is not easy. It's not built overnight. And that's the bad news. And the good news is is it doesn't fall apart overnight either. Right? You know? I, you know, I have relationships, and I've stubbed my toes in those relationships. And people are like, you know what?

RJ Redden:

90%

Frank Agin:

of the time, he's he's okay. So we just, you know, that's any relationship. You know, my wife and I, we don't get along at times. Right? I mean, we just, you know, think it should be this color. She thinks it should be there or whatever. We're having pizza tonight. No. We're having this. Okay. I get it. You know? We have these things. that's a re that's the whole notion of relation ships is that it's not just always positive, but, but you, you know, you build solid foundations on those relationships.

RJ Redden:

You do. And, you know, I mean, I always talk about this, you know, when 2020 happened. I mean, I was making lots of my money getting on stages and and, you know, going to conferences and doing things. And, and it was great. And then it was dead, in a matter of days for who knows how long. Turns out a lot longer than most of us thought. and I wouldn't my business would never have survived if it weren't for the deep, connective relationships that I have, and it wasn't that those people turned around and went, we'll donate a few $1000 to RJ's business right now. It was Hey. Feeling vulnerable. I don't know what to do. Reaching out to you because you have more experience.

Frank Agin:

Yeah.

RJ Redden:

and that made all the difference for me and and what you were talking about, you know, these relationships don't disappear when the wind blows.

Frank Agin:

Right.

RJ Redden:

we were talking earlier a little bit about, you know, the people who, you know, say that they they met and made made a 1,000,000, you know, in 3 days or, you know, all of the things We're talking about that, and it was it's just like, but those relationships can be so transient.

Frank Agin:

Yeah.

RJ Redden:

You know? you know, and, I've known a lot of people I've known a lot of people and worked for worked with, I would say a lot of people that it's like, yeah. You made this much, but I know I also know you spent this much. Yeah. Yeah.

Frank Agin:

Yeah. That's what people tell me. I well, I made 7 figures last year. I'm like, one do you count the decimal places? And, 2, why are you telling me? Why does it matter? Why why does it even matter? You know? so yeah.

RJ Redden:

Connectivity is where it's at, caring to stop and care about another. Yeah. Absolutely where it's at. These are not the things that most people are putting across the banner of their website. It's not sexy. It's not fast. but this is the kind of your networking and the way that you do it is kind that works in the long run?

Frank Agin:

It it does. Yeah. And and, and I haven't corned the market on it. Right? I there's a lot of great people who do what I do. or do what you do or, you know, there's a there's a lot of good people out there. Great relationship. People, And it it's not an overnight thing. I, you know, I tell people networking works. It may not work on your timetable. I have lots of stories of things I have done 15 years ago that, all of a sudden, come to fruition. Right? it doesn't it doesn't work necessarily where you want it to work. You know, you go to the networking event. You're all dressed up. Hey. This is great. I'm here. and nothing happens, but, you know, then you're out talking to your neighbor, bringing the taking the trash out together, and strike up a conversation that leads to something. You know, you didn't expect it, but it did. And it doesn't always happen the way we want it to happen. You know, you go to those events and you wanna get some business and you stumble upon that great inexpensive vacation. It worked. Maybe it didn't work exactly how you want it to work, but it worked.

RJ Redden:

Well, and that that's the thing. The networking is like growing bamboo. Do you know how bamboo grows?

Frank Agin:

somewhat, it it's very, very slow in the beginning. I know that. I don't

RJ Redden:

-- No water it for 6 weeks and nothing.

Frank Agin:

Yep.

RJ Redden:

And then you'll wake up one morning and boom. It's like 6 feet tall. I mean, literally overnight I mean, that and the the the thing about networking that is so hard for people is no matter what result you got yesterday, be consistent with your actions today.

Frank Agin:

Yeah.

RJ Redden:

Today's the day that matters. Yeah. because marketing works if done consistently, or, you know, that that networking stuff that works it works real well when you're doing it, building relationships consistently. I just I love your message, man.

Frank Agin:

Thank you. Well, thank you.

RJ Redden:

Well, so the question that I always ask in this podcast, how do you engage your audience, my friend?

Frank Agin:

I guess, can you be more specific with that?

RJ Redden:

Yeah. Yeah. So you know, when you connect with people, say say to networking deal. When you connect with people, how do you you know, you've meet somebody, you decide, you know, this is worth, this is really worth going further. and how do you keep that relationship going? How do you follow-up or, you know, what do you do after?

Frank Agin:

Yeah. I mean, you know, when I when I have a conversation with people and I get a lot of introductions, I my mind is always churning with this simple thought. How can I help this person?

RJ Redden:

Who do

Frank Agin:

they need to meet? Who could they help in my network? you know, who, you know, which helps them. Who could help them from my network? You know, what are the connections that need to be made? You know, are there podcasts that they need to be on that people I know you know, and just how can I help them? and, you know, and then certainly, you know, go follow through on those things. Hey. Here's some things, you know, boom boom boom boom boom. Does this help you? What do you think? And and, you know, as far as staying connected to them, you know, that's I'm a 100% responsible for 50% of that equation. Right? I know that sounds kinda funny, but you stop and think about it. And so You know, I'll send people notes just, hey. How's it going? you know, or follow-up, Hayden, you met that person, what happened with that? Kinda wanna know. And if I don't hear back, I mean, not everybody's gonna be game to being engaged. Right? They'll, like, I, you know, I talked to Frank. I think I got everything I needed, or I didn't get what I wanted, and they kinda move on. But, you know, I try to circle back. I I I I do things or I'm involved with things out there, so I'm running into people consistently in other Zoom rooms or or Zoom events. and so there's connections there. some people, it's it might be, I have a friend over in Thailand. Twice a year, we'll talk, you know, right around the holidays, and we just had a conversation

RJ Redden:

2

Frank Agin:

to 3 weeks ago. Just, hey. What's up? What are you doing? You know? kind of encouraging one another on. You should talk to this person. I'm gonna introduce you to this person. you know, so those are, you know, those are the the sorts of things. you know, not everybody's not everybody's gonna work out. It's You know, it's it just doesn't just doesn't work that way. and thankfully, because if it if it did, Your life your life would be full in a hurry. I mean, it's supposed to be hard. Right? This whole business, this coaching, the consulting, just be being an entrepreneur. If it were easy, everybody would do it. Everybody would quit their job, and they would do it. it's supposed to be hard. and you have to remind myself of that. So not everything's gonna work out. You know? It's you you meet with, you know, My my wife has a corporate job. I say, you don't understand disappointment. You know? I don't mean that in a main mean way, but, you know, she, you know, he have a bad day. He still get a paycheck. You know? You have a bad day. You probably don't get paid. Right? and that's true. A lot of people, you know, And that's what makes it that's what makes it hard. so kind of a long winded answer.

RJ Redden:

Oh, well, that's that's why that's why we made podcasts. It's like a long winded answers. Well and, well, finally, just just one more question. Well, a couple more, but, where can people get a hold of you so that they can learn more of your genius.

Frank Agin:

Well, I appreciate that. you know, a great way I'm I'm on LinkedIn, Frank Agan, AGIN, I think I'm the only Frank Aiken on there. Just I I have to laugh because, you know, I I have friends in India who have very interesting names, and I'll do a search, and there's 60 of them. And, but, anyway, yeah, Frank Aiken, you can find me on linkedin, frankagan.com is really kinda central hub. My email's on there. it shows the books I've written. It shows things I'm involved in or things that, you know, I support, networking sorts of things, information, link you to information on my organization. I I tend you know, RJ, I tend to meet people where they wanna be some people love to communicate on Facebook, you know, messenger. I'm not a fan of it, but if that's where they'd like to be, they'd like to be. you know, Some people's email. Some people just they love LinkedIn. So I'll just meet people where they wanna be.

RJ Redden:

Yeah. Well, that's the easiest way. Right? Meet them, communicate with them wherever they want.

Frank Agin:

Yep.

RJ Redden:

Yeah. Beautiful. well, I just wanna thank you for coming by, talking about networking. You know what? Nice people who care about each other do win. Don't they, Frank?

Frank Agin:

They do. They do. It may not feel like at times, but in the long run, they do. I appreciate you for the opportunity. Thank you.

RJ Redden:

You betcha. we'll we'll have you back here, on the epic engagement adventure, fans, coaches out there, don't don't hesitate if if Frank has said something that you resonate with, you know what to do. get on the website, get on his LinkedIn, and, and start a conversation. This is a human who cares about the other humans in his life. And as you know, I always highly highly recommend those. And, that's it for this week. we'll be back next week same bot time, same bot channel, and then until then, take care of yourself and take care of the others around you. See you in a