📍EEA: Building Authentic Networks with Daniel Andrews

RJ Redden:

It makes you guess when you're on the air, which we are right now. Everyone, hold on to your goggles. It's time for the epic engagement adventure. Today, my guest my guest is a person who needs no introduction but will probably give a thousand of them this week alone. Daniel Andrews, the the master of networking in my world, the master of networking and all things. If you want to go deep with your networking, if you want to be a person who knows better than to show up at a networking gig, whether live and in person or on Zoom and leave with a bunch. Of connections of people you don't really know. If you want to go deeper than that for your business, if you want to get like referral partners and key referral partners and deep into getting those referrals coming to you and coming from you, this is the guy to know. Daniel, who are you? What do you do? Give us the business.

Daniel Andrews:

I'm just a guy that had to learn it the hard way, I guess is my point. And I've always thought that if I wanted to find somebody to coach me on a particular subject, field, endeavor, talent, skill set, that I would want to find somebody that didn't start off good. Right. My experience around people that are naturally good is they're great and you can watch them and sometimes you can learn by watching, but they're not really good at showing you how to get from bad to good because they were never bad at it. Right. They're unconsciously competent, as they say, and I was unconsciously incompetent, right. Had to realize that I wasn't getting what I wanted and then eventually had to work my way through conscious competence, as they call it, and then come out the other side of unconscious competence to the awareness that other people aren't that good. So I'm back more aware of my competence again, not because I'm genius, because I had to grind it out, but after I got good at it and it felt natural, I missed that other people weren't naturally good at it or hadn't learned the lessons I'd learned. So I kind of doubled back, as it were, to kind of bring people along on the journey. And what's fun for me is that I have been able to make a difference in the lives and the businesses of people that are stuck in terms of network building. They know they want to do it, but they don't know how. In terms of people that even didn't ever realize the power or the skill set they were missing, and then even of people that were good at it and to help them articulate what makes them good so it becomes more duplicatable even in their own lives, right? The people that you and I know and know, jose Escobar, Suzanne Taylor King, that were already good at building relationship and building bridges and getting and giving the introductions that were needed in the world have both said, Daniel made me you know, my approach made them better. And to me, it's fun to engage with all sorts of people and to elevate their experience around the phrase that I use all the time. I get asked, you want to be on my podcast? What's the name of your program? And I said, Unless you tell me otherwise, this is the name of my program. Stop networking and start building relationships that matter. Right. And that actually comes from the title of a book. I don't know if I tucked it into my briefcase the way I normally do or not. Yeah, I did. I don't run around with the book itself because it would get beat up in my briefcase, but I do run around with a photo copy of the COVID of the book. So my favorite book on the subject, super Connector. And no, I don't receive an affiliate fee if you go find it on Amazon. But the subtitle stop networking and start building relationships that matter. So to the degree that I can bring people out of networking and into relationships that matter, or even people that are good at building relationships that matter, make them better by making them conscious of what they're doing, that works so they can repeat it more often. It's been really gratifying to me, but I'm just a guy that's been in sales or some form of self employment for 35 years. Officially 49 if you start with the lemonade stand in first grade. So now you know how old I am. And referrals have always been the name of the game, even when I wasn't good at it, and I had to figure out how to be good at it.

RJ Redden:

A lot of folks who listen to this podcast are heart driven coaches or consultants, teachers of some kind. And I often talk about how important networking is to people like us because and now some people think referrals will take care of everything. I get that kind of thinking because most marketing is alienating and in fact, disgusting. I would so much rather deal with people I know, deal with people I care about, people who I've built a relationship with. But that is not the kind of networking that's mostly taught out there, you know? I mean, how how do you how do you stand out in my mind as somebody who is completely different, who is willing to dig way below the standard?

Daniel Andrews:

My headsets gave out somewhere along the way, so hang with me 1 second. Can you hear me?

RJ Redden:

I can hear you. Can you hear me? No.

Daniel Andrews:

You're back in my headsets. Okay. I would rather build with people I care about. And that's where I lost you. So I want to be additive. So just repeat the last two sentences.

RJ Redden:

One I would rather deal with work toward victory with people I care about. There are many people on the face of the earth who teach surface deep networking, which is give your card, move on. Pitch. Give your card, move on. Holy moly. You are so different than that. You're willing to dig underneath that. So what caused you to say, hey, there's a whole lot more under here? Was it the book you read? Was it an experience? Was it lots of them tell me everything experience?

Daniel Andrews:

The origin story here is actually a pretty fun one to realize and to kind of contextualize it. I'll keep everybody on the edge of their seat for another minute and a half until I get to my origin story is this and that is, yeah. I realize that a large part of your audience is marketers. And the old saying, when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, right. But marketing or driving people towards you through awareness, because that's all that marketing can accomplish is awareness. And a strictly network building, referral seeking approach have the same goal in common, which is to lessen the sales effort. Right. To bring the sales to me in the form of marketing. Oh, these people already know they want me. Well, they probably don't. They're searching you and seven other competitors at the same time. They may want what you offer, but they're not yet sure they want you. And then network building referrals, relationships, introductions, it was predicated on of all the people Fred could choose for a vendor, right. RJ Redden said to call Daniel Andrews and boom, deals practically done. So both of those are kind of in a quest to take away the effort that lots of people don't enjoy of the act of selling the thing. Because to do a thing, to have a skill, to have a gift, and to be good at selling, it two different things. Hence the phrase starving artist is a cliche because the skills that are involved in making art aren't inherently they're not exclusive of, but they're not inherently invested the same gifts that make people good at selling. So marketers might want to think that marketing is the answer to everything because that keeps them from having to sell. I only end up talking to people that want to hire me. Maybe not networkers or network builders, as I choose to say, may think that if I do all the network building, I don't have to do any sell because I only talk to people that want to buy from me. Well, that might not be true either, but I do think that through an introduction, you're a lot closer to the sale than through marketing. But marketing can reach more people. But, yeah, the idea of a networking effort, a networking event, is literally marketing one business card at a time, so it's not actually relationship building fundamental. So for somebody who's in marketing, it's probably one of the least strategic things they can do because they've now taken their skill set. The thing they get at their gift, and they've chosen to do it in the most labor intensive, slow iteration possible. Right now, I do think you have to start from quantity to get to quality. So I don't want to say that those people should never go to those things, but they should go with a notion of where it's and this ties to the origin story. Because I used to think that having a solid value proposition was enough, and if I could just get in front of the right people and show them the right stuff. Right. Everything come together. And when I moved from Columbia, South Carolina, where I live now, grew up here, went off to college, came back, ran a business 13 years, 2003. I moved from here to St. Louis, Missouri, and moved from B to C sales, which was referral based, I should probably say recommendation based. I'm at the customer's house. Who's your neighbor, who's your best friend, who's your husband's best friend, who's your pastor, who's your deacon? Right? Which kind of felt like a referral, but it was still very superficial to B to in a city where I didn't know anybody. So I realized I was going to have to kind of network, and I found the right people and the right prospects, and I went and I would speak to them. And St. Louis, I'm not going to go off on a tangent or a rant, although I'm inclined to do both, is weird because they want to do business. People from their hometown. I'll just short circuit the whole conversation. They literally want to do business people they went to high school with. And the whole reasons behind that are understandable frustrating if you're an outsider, but they exist, and that's not going to change. So I found somebody and built some cred with him that would create the introductions that I needed in this particular industry. And I hate that their names are so similar, but Bert was my guy, right? Bert was the guy that was the hometown guy that I'd convinced I had some cred with, and he was going to make some introductions for me. And Butch is the prospect in this story where the light bulb went on. And I hate that their names are so similar. I really wish they weren't, but I can't tell the story consistently, keep the names straight by using an alias either. So Burt was my guy. Butch is the prospect, and all you need to know is that Butch and his family owned a business that represented a very large deal for me. Massive deal. Okay, so this is kind of on the line. So we go to lunch, and Bert sits across from Butch, and I sit across from the CFO. And my value opposition had more to do with the CFO's role in the business. And that was poor seating because butch and burt would talk about high school and who they knew and who was dating who and who was divorced these days and whatever happened to the kids and to the grandkids. And then they would start eating and then me and dave would fire back and forth. And I finally mouthed know we should switch seats because we can hold our conversations in parallel and not serial right. Not sounds good. Still don't have the deal. We're back later to close the deal. Dave's not part of it because Dave's junior to Butch. Butch's family has a business standing on the parking lot of the business. And Butch says to Bert, butch is the prospect who is this guy? And points at me. And my full expectation was that Bert would explain again my value proposition, which is kind of short sighted. That's what I spent a whole lunch doing. And Bert says he's my guy. And Butt says, but I don't know this guy. And Bert says, but I know this guy. And Butt says, but what happens if something happens to this guy? Because it's an extended deal? And Butt says, I'll find another guy that can do the same thing. And at first my feelings were hurt. I'm like, why didn't you talk about how great I am? And then I realized this deal is not predicated on how great Dan is. This deal is predicated on the relationship between Butch and Burt.

RJ Redden:

Yes.

Daniel Andrews:

Now the introduction was predicated on the value. Burt never would have had me in there if I didn't have value for Butch and his team. But at that moment, the fastest way to seal the deal was not to transfer the crown of relationship and authority to Daniel. It was to hammer the fact that Butch and Bert go back 30 years and boom. That's all we really needed to talk about. And that was the light bulb for me where I went, oh, it's not about getting the right introduction as much as it is getting the right person to introduce you. Now, I would say that those relationships between the birds and the butchers of the world are not strictly predicated on 30 years, by the way. I found that there are relationships that exist and I can create them as well in a matter of sometimes days, weeks at the most. Months, maybe not quite at that level where we're getting a multi tens of thousands dollars deal. But the cred that you need to get the ball rolling and start to share referrals, which increases trust as you execute, well, you're not relegated to finding people that have known your prospect for 30 years. I guess at my point that you're not stuck in a very narrow, very small number of people. But that was the part where I went, this isn't even about my value proposition. As far as Butch is concerned, burt never would have made the intro if I didn't have strong value. So it's important to have strong value. But once Bert was convinced to have strong value for Butch. He didn't try to explain that to Butch. He tries to explain, but it's me. Right? Bert could have just well, have said, but it's me. Right. But it's no, no, he's with me is really what I don't but he's with, you know, that's kind of a restaurant trope. Right. Or a movie trope. Right. The guy's trying to get past the velvet rope. Right. But I know the owner and the bouncer's like, sure you do. And then the owner's son or brother goes, oh, yeah, he's with us. Or the big spender. He's without our party. Sorry, boss. I didn't know. It's not he's a good guy. He's with me. And so I show people and I work with people to create the he's with me. And it's not as hard as people think it is. It does take an intentional effort, but it's absolutely amazing, and it will get you past the velvet rope. It'll get you the reservation when there isn't a reservation. It'll get you the multi $10,000 deal if you'll invest in that.

RJ Redden:

Well. And it's all about for me, it's about right. Action. My business. The million dollars is not the North Star for me. I've got other things that I want to do in business. Not that I wouldn't say no to a million dollars. Would any of us? Really? Would any of us? I ask you. Well, I forgot to do something at the beginning that I needed to do before you told that story. So everyone listening. Please forgive me, but I know you love me.

Daniel Andrews:

Anyway, they call it back intro in the DJ biz. They call it a back intro.

RJ Redden:

Back intro. Well, no, I just wanted to let everybody know that I'm taking your class, ninja networking, which Daniel named that long before he knew me, everybody. But I'm taking your class know, looking at it how it's really a system of actions. It's a framework of actions that work together to make you somebody's guy, for lack of a better term.

Daniel Andrews:

Yeah, I had a fairly interesting conversation, by the way, and this comes up a lot. So take this to the spirit of Smith ninja network building skills. Networking always comes with air quotes, because in my mind, we need to stop networking. It's not ninja networking. It's ninja network building skills. Anyway, I just have to go on record because, yeah, we should all stop networking. So I'm consistent there. So I'm talking to the guy, and he said just a couple of days ago, right, another live stream about this time of day on Tuesday. And he said he's a very thoughtful guy, very not so thoughtful that he's an egghead, right. Or he's, you know, an academia or ivory tower, as they call it. But he thinks through his philosophy of his business pretty seriously, and he said, if you're talking about networking with people, that can help you. Right? Networking, building a network, building people that can help you? Does it take away some of the credibility knowing that you're doing it with people that can help you? And I said, yeah, that's analogous to that old joke about sincerity is the key. Once you can fake that, you got to admit. And I said, no. And I said, and here's why. We've got a finite amount of time on this earth, which means we've got a finite amount of time we're going to spend at work. If you believe in your message, your value, believe in what you have to offer, and you think that more of it needs to be in the world, and you're willing to meet and engage with people to discover if you believe in what they have to offer. Not enough to join their company or become their sales rep, but that you're willing to amplify their message, why wouldn't you spend your time with the people who can amplify yours? Because you believe in yours, and you can amplify theirs because you believe in theirs, as opposed to simply meeting the many, many people that you can meet that have anywhere from predominantly low, possibly medium, exceptionally cases, high value. Why would you do that when you can find a few people who resonate with you, that you resonate with them, and you can amplify each other? The messenger bring more good into the world. So if you're convicted that what you have to offer is appropriate and you can only spend so much time getting to know certain people, why not pick the people that will be willing to support you and that you'll be willing to support? And he said, okay, that's a helpful shift. Right? And keep in mind, this is what's fascinating. People love to give. People love to serve. People love to be the guy that knows a guy, the gal that knows a guy. Right? People love to create the introduction, introduce the prospect for a whole bunch of reasons. Number one, they like helping. But number two, Gloria Cruz to them, right? If I bring RJ the right customer and RJ solves their problem. RJ likes the customer. We tend to like our customers. RJ likes me because I brought her the customer. The customer likes RJ because RJ solved a problem for the customer. The customer likes me because I brought him to the attention of RJ and helped him or her get their problem solved. So as long as it's win win and not, oh, well, I took as much as I can from you, or I sold you something and I profited, and you got low value. As long as it's win win, why wouldn't we pursue that? People like to share their resources that they have and transact on the relationships they've built, right? One of my good friends is about ten years younger than me. My daughter is about 20 years younger than me. She's dating her age, a little older. He's getting his age a little younger, right? I said, Y'all should go on a date. I have no idea what will happen. And they went on one date, and they liked each other, and they signed up to do a second date, which is fine, but I wasn't. Like, they could be really good together. I'll just keep my mouth shut and see if they figure it out. I hope somebody introduces them someday. Maybe I could get them all at the same party and they might bump into each other and sparks might fly. Maybe I'll go that route. I'll just count on somebody else in this town to introduce it to him. I have conviction in her. She's a wonderful young woman. I have conviction in him. He's a nice guy. Why wouldn't I introduce him, right? And if it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't. But at least I know neither one's an axe murder, right? Neither one's going to have a bad date. Might not be worth the second date. Right? But why would I kick back and wait for the world to do its magic? If I believe in what they have to offer, why wouldn't I amplify that message and put them with people in that regard?

RJ Redden:

Well, and that brings up another question. For me, the building of relationships is so much more than referrals. Awesomeness. Intros. Complete awesomeness. I absolutely love it. But I was surprised to find around myself that what I need, the kind of support that I need sometimes. Like, my business would not have made it through the pandemic if I had not had people that I could go call up and go, oh, my God, what's happening next? Do you have any idea? Maybe we should meet. And that was a time everybody went through together. But the importance of relationship goes even deeper than how many referrals and transactions, correct?

Daniel Andrews:

Yes. A happy side effect of investing deeply in a handful of relationships and I say a handful in the tens, right? Not in the literal fours and fives, but anywhere from a half dozen to a dozen. It's certainly not in the hundreds. Gives you the happy side effect of pursuing those in the pursuit of appropriate introductions to appropriate prospects or other key referral sources is that you have people that you're deep enough with that you can call up and crown each other's shoulder, right. That you can talk about the miniature, the bad moment that you're having. You can talk about the pandemic and the bad future that you're not sure what happens next. And to be honest, I think you and I have done more for each other in that role, for each other than we have. Bisto.

RJ Redden:

Yeah.

Daniel Andrews:

Right. I would say the ratio is about four to one. The number of conversations we've had about how's life? Right? How are you doing? Or the reverse. Got a minute? Because I'm drowning over here. Right? We probably had about a four to one ratio of those compared to all right, let's get on my LinkedIn together. You tell me who you want to get introduced to, then let's get on your LinkedIn together, and I'll tell you. I need to get introduced to. And I'm in Co working space, and this is the Zoom Room, and it's supposed to be pretty inductive. I swear to God, I think they're playing field hockey. I know they're playing bag calls out here in the hallway, and I'm on a video call. Are you all hearing thump, thump, thump on that side?

RJ Redden:

I am.

Daniel Andrews:

You are?

RJ Redden:

It's hilarious. Yeah, we do we spend a lot of time. We do power network need together and just some other stuff, and there's so much, I think, that's been the catalyst.

Daniel Andrews:

For a couple of moments of tears for both of us, right?

RJ Redden:

Well, exactly. Always. But building that relationships, getting that kind of support, is astronomically important in the world and the life of a new entrepreneur or in any way new ish it's something that will separate a closing business from a business that will stay open, in my opinion. And the kinds of relationships that you've taught me how to foster, that's exactly what everybody needs. And my people are heart driven people. We want to have a relationship. We want to skip right to the relationship. You know what I mean? We want to get right to the fifth date. I can't say enough about how much you've taught me to engage with folks and to really find out what matters to them. Speaking of that word engagement, I always ask, how do you engage your folks, my friend?

Daniel Andrews:

You mean, how would somebody find me if they wanted to find me?

RJ Redden:

Yes. Let's start there. How would somebody find you?

Daniel Andrews:

Sadly, my name Daniel Patrick Andrews. Full name is quite common on both LinkedIn and Facebook. As a matter of fact, if you Google search it, you'll find a bombastic Australian Parliamentarian who will occupy the first 1 million search returns. So I had to buy the website domain. Danielpatricandrews.com. Danielpatricandrews.com. And it's a mediocre website because I'm not about the marketing. Right? I'm not about making a good digital impression. I'm about the connection and the referral. It exists primarily to have a link to my LinkedIn profile, a link to my 15 minutes on my calendar if you want it, which is a place to start. Right. Clearly, we're not going to accomplish a lot in 15 minutes. We can discuss what we could accomplish. That's where you and I started on a 20 minutes phone call and then some testimonials about the power of the communities I build and the coaching that I give around how to build your own community. So that's a good place to find me. But I engage with people by holding short paired interviews. I call them quick connects. Paired interview is my generic phrase for any coffee, lunch, practicer zoom meeting. Right. It's two people getting to know each other. But in a group context, you're never building credibility in trust, you're sorting who you're going to build with. It always comes from this and the one on one.

RJ Redden:

Yeah. Beautiful. You all take some advantage. Danielpatrickandrews.com, I threw it in the comments there. It's time. If you are a person who wants to make networking like the major stream of your business, if you want to find key referral partners, if you want to find people who talk about you in a room, complimentarily when your back is turned, you need to come talk to Daniel. Because being there with Daniel has changed the way that I relate to people. It's changed the way I listen, it's changed the way I respond and engage. And it has made my business a better place. No kidding. Kids take advantage of this one because there's a world to know that you don't know about networking. I guarantee you there's so much under the surface that you can completely get at if you listen the right way, if you build relationships with the right intention. So Daniel can teach you how to do that.

Daniel Andrews:

It took me 20 years to find the awareness that I needed to know it in 15 years. Well, almost ten years to learn to learn it. Right. So if you want to shortcut the process, I'd love to help. Shortcut the process? Yeah.

RJ Redden:

Super cool. Well, as mentioned beforehand, we do Power Networking every month. It is the last Wednesday of the month, 03:00 P.m.. That's central Time, though, people. And so Powernetworking Live will take you to our next event. I'm just going to type that in the chat.

Daniel Andrews:

And while you type that, my relationship with RJ is strong enough that she asked and I offered to show up 15 minutes early to that event once a month and create a little bit of extra value by given a few key intentionalities about how to engage in that room and other rooms. And that comes from the fact that we have a relationship where we can count each other for support and structure when we need it. If you want to get little tiny bits of how to get better, you're never going to get the course in 15 minutes increments. I mean, I guess you could, but let's see. 8 hours divided in 15 minutes is 32 increments. Yeah. Two and two thirds years.

RJ Redden:

Right. That is a lot of math right there.

Daniel Andrews:

Yeah. And I haven't broken 8 hours of content into 15 minutes increments. It's delivered quite in place. So you'll never get the 8 hours of content from showing up 15 minutes early, but you'll get value for those 15 minutes and it'll make your next 2 hours Even more valuable.

RJ Redden:

I know that's true well, and it's just done amazing things for the networking. I mean, people are walking away better knowing how to build relationships.

Daniel Andrews:

That so I'm glad to be able. To contribute.

RJ Redden:

Yeah, well, Deborah, hey, good to see you. Thanks for tuning in today. And everybody else who is hearing this on the podcast. Again, that's Danielpatrickanders.com, where you can get a hold of Daniel, and if you want to see him in action powernetworking live, come that 15 minutes early, and you will not regret it, my friends. Well, that's it for today's broadcast. We have almost overstayed our welcome. Thank you again for coming. Daniel and I'll be back next week. Same bot time, same bot channel. And that's it for us, my friends. Have a good rest of your day. Bye.