📍EEA: The Power Of Storytelling With Merrill Loechner

RJ Redden [00:00:00]:

It's. Oh, hold on to your goggles. You know what it's time for? It's the epic invitation. Sorry. The epic invasion adventure. What is that podcast? I don't know. It's not this one. I host the Epic engagement adventure. My name is RJ Redden. If you don't know me, I'm pretty easy to spot check the cape. But today, today we get to know a member of our community that we treasure, and that is master of story and someone who knows just how to work with people to get their individual thumbprint out there on the face of the earth in a way that people can understand and remember later. I know you want to get to know her, so let's just make it happen right now. Meryl Loachner is here with us. Meryl, thank you for coming to the show.

Merrill Loechner [00:01:01]:

Thank you so much for inviting me. It's a pleasure to chat with everyone.

RJ Redden [00:01:06]:

We're going to have a lot of fun today. So tell us everything. Why do you do what you do? Where you're from? Give us your hat size. It's open.

Merrill Loechner [00:01:16]:

Not a problem. Born and raised on Long Island, New York, taught myself how to read at two and a half. Unfortunately, I read by the shape of the word. So I'm a really fast reader, can't spell to save my life. Have been a published author since the time I was nine and I went to college for communications. And then I had a decision to make. Did I want to write the great American novel or did I want health insurance? And so I decided to go into corporate America. And luckily for me, I got a job in the marketing department of a laboratory instrument company, which was great. I'm a nerd. I am surrounded by all these PhD. Organic chemists and biogeeks, and this is great. What they quickly realize though, is all our super smart people are like members of the Big Bang Theory. Really smart, have the social skills of wet cats, and have forgotten how to speak to normal people. So my superpower was translating geek to muggle. So I got to work with all these really cool scientists and then turned around and went back and saying, oh, while my PhD biophysicist is saying we're using multimodality petspec CT in order to use rodents, I would talk. To the press and investors and say, we can look inside a living mouse and see the cancer cells as they grow one by one. And by using this technology, we can see the medicine as it works to shrink those tumors and thus bring these discoveries to human research. There you go. And the press and the investors like, oh, I get it now. So when I decided to start my own communications agency, that's what I was looking for, to help people get that oh, I get it now moment. So I work with scientists, I work with coaches, I work with financial advisors, I work with a lot of cybersecurity teams, people who are really, really smart but sometimes get tripped up by their own jargon. And so I teach them how to translate it to different voices. I have one cybersecurity guy who wanted to reach out to lawyers and he's going, Acronym, acronym, acronym. And the lawyers are going, I don't know what that means. So I taught him how to translate geek to lawyer or geek to MBA guy. I worked with one, managed it. I had an entire script out here's. Everything you do, if you're talking to other It people, use this language. If you're talking to corporate business owners, use this language. If you're talking to retail, use this language. So you're talking about cybersecurity. You can use all the technical stuff here and by the time you get to the pizza owner, you say, we keep hackers out of your computer.

RJ Redden [00:04:07]:

Well, it's so strange because we all think we're speaking English, but we still need a universal translator. Gosh, I've seen this in the corporate world, too, and I've been the Bridge of translation as well. And it's like it's such an important thing. And I don't think that people think talking is communication or writing is communication.

Merrill Loechner [00:04:35]:

Not so it's language is communicating. We were talking before about AI and how some of the AI voices sound so fake because human beings are messy speakers. The way we speak is different from a written language. So if we write a script, it's going to sound fake because that voice is reading written English. This is why real script writers, that is a real skill because you have to write spoken English, not written English. And also we tend to slur a bit. So while an AI will say once upon a time, we do once upon a time. And so, yeah, you may not know why AI sounds fake, but subconsciously you're going, that sounds wrong.

RJ Redden [00:05:27]:

Just sounds wrong. Well, and so much is being pumped out that if you order a pizza meryl, you can eat the pizza when it comes to the door, or you can eat the cardboard box. And the cardboard box is what a lot of people kind of churn out and not realize that that's not going to connect you with an audience.

Merrill Loechner [00:05:53]:

Exactly. And you always hear bandied about to the point of overuse now authenticity. And I think I've overheard it to the point where I'm like, blah blah, blah, authentic, blah blah blah. But you can't be your authentic you if you're faking it, if you're going on Chat TTP. And like, I'll let the robot come up with my sales pitch and just copy and paste it. But that's not you. That's not the way you speak. I was born and raised in New York, spent 30 years in Connecticut, I went to college in England. I have a unique voice. I have a ridiculously big vocabulary because I read every book on the planet before I was like twelve. I may not know how to pronounce all the words, but I know all these words. So I will the occasional throw in these weird sat words that will have a friend going, what? But that's the way I speak and my friends recognize this. So we each have our own unique language and it's regional for your industry. If you're a lawyer, you use words that you don't use when you're not a lawyer. I was talking to one lawyer, so he's talking about the matters. The matter? What is a matter? Well, a case. Yes, but we call it matter. Yes, but every cop show ever has called it a case. So that may be the right word, but it's the wrong word for your communication because no one knows what it means.

RJ Redden [00:07:28]:

Well, this is a weird place to draw reference from, but I'm a huge fan of the Great British Baking Show. They're speaking English, but the word they're speaking British, the word pie to them does not mean what it means to people across this pond. You know what I'm saying?

Merrill Loechner [00:07:48]:

You want to see a British person look at Horg to say the phrase biscuits and gravy. And we're like, yeah, you all have some biscuits and gravy. And the bridge are like, you're putting gravy on cookies.

RJ Redden [00:08:03]:

Yeah, exactly.

Merrill Loechner [00:08:08]:

I lived in England. I spent my junior year of university in England. And literally when we got off the bus to get to campus, there was these signs saying car Boot Sale. I know what a car is, I know what a boot is, and I know what a sale is. But when you put those three words together and I'm talking with, what is that? It's like, oh, you fill up stuff in your car and you drive out to a field and pop it open and sell things out of the back of your car. I'm like, oh, like a flea market. And she's looking at me horror, like fleas. And so, same language, a lot of similar words, very different meaning on those words. And the same thing with acronyms. Again, I'm working for a laboratory instrument company in the business side, and I remember laughing because I worked in one lab where in the lab ROI meant residue on ignition, while in the marketing side it was return on investment. People throwing out these various and sundry acronyms. I'm working with a client now, we're producing a podcast and he's like, I want to call it this. I'm like, oh, in certain circles that's a really bad acronym. We're going to need to change that. And it's just like, well, what's the acronym like? You just type it into Google under urban dictionary. Let's not use that acronym.

RJ Redden [00:09:35]:

No, I'm so glad you were there for that person. Well, I work with people sometimes on their brand and stuff. And even harder is when you don't know what the language is of your client. When you're aiming to try to connect with somebody, but you don't know their language. It's like talking to people that don't understand English.

Merrill Loechner [00:10:06]:

That's just it. You cannot be a coach or a brander or any kind of storyteller to work with someone if you're not speaking the same language. I mean, I would never walk into a mechanics and start talking about my car because my language would be yeah, the swirly thing with the red blinky lights going, boing boing, boing. So that's why if you're a coach, you need to surround yourself with people who understand your language, and you need to get to understand their language. You cannot help them unless you're speaking the same language. And that's one of the things that takes a lot of time and work. You can take marketing training and sales training and operations, and you can do all of this stuff. But if you're hitting a specific niche, you damn well better be fluent in the language of that niche. If you are going to be a business coach, you better understand the language of business. You better know ROI and KPI and the pain points of business people, because if you just show up there all butterflies and rainbows, there's going to be a problem.

RJ Redden [00:11:20]:

Yeah, there's going to be a big problem, a big problem of credibility right off the bat. Credibility and trust you can't win back because they're thinking, I don't care how credible they seemed on paper, in person, I don't think they understand my problem. And then you're just done.

Merrill Loechner [00:11:38]:

Yeah, absolutely. We always call it almost the in jokes. I would usually ingratiate myself with the scientists and geeks and companies I would work with by letting them know I'm one of you. I may be in the office. I may be dressed in a suit as opposed to a lab coat. But I remember one time we went out to this introductory dinner, and we had a bunch of scientists and my boss and a bunch of the board of directors, and I look over and they have this weird, strange looking, kind of circular espresso machine. And I said, that looks like a Dalek. And all the lab geeks were like, one of us. All the NBA folks are like, what is that, a brand of espresso?

RJ Redden [00:12:25]:

That's so beautiful? For those of you who don't know, Dalek comes from Doctor Who, one of the longest standing series running on television. All these other big franchises had a break. Doctor who's been running for 40 years, baby. So look it up. You'll love it.

Merrill Loechner [00:12:45]:

Yeah, absolutely. And people like to surround themselves with the familiar. Well, I always tell people, don't surround yourself with yourself. As human beings, we tend to do that. We tend to be around people who get our jokes, who like the same things we do. And so if you're trying to build that personal connection with a client, you have to find out what they love and it could simply be if you're on a Zoom call, if they're like, this is my living room, you could be going, oh, she's got a lot of books. So are you a reader? Oh, you're a reader too? Let's geek out about books for a while. I mean, the first time I met RJ, I noticed the goggles. I'm like steampunk forever. Yes.

RJ Redden [00:13:32]:

Oh, my gosh. Well, I love that you know how powerful stories are. When it comes down to it, I tell the story sometimes it was me sitting in a bookstore waiting for midnight, dressed up with a whole bunch of people that I didn't know, trading Harry Potter jokes. Often I think about that moment, and I think, what a book. A story inspired so much action. A ton of people got into reading. I loved those books. Costumes were made. I do have a wand. It inspired so much action. And as people who have service based businesses, we all have a story that is just as compelling and inspiring. Sometimes we just don't know how to get it out.

Merrill Loechner [00:14:36]:

Oh, absolutely. One of my clients is a personal injury attorney. If you've ever gone to a Zoom networking group, you'll have one of those, and they'll do the I'm a personal injury attorney and medical malpractice. If you've slipped and falled, you may be capable of getting it, and it's like, that's nice, that's nice, that's nice. 30 seconds later, what do you do again? Because there's no hook there. That's what a story is. A good story will trigger an emotional response, it will trigger a dopamine flow, and it will take the information into long term memory. So I was talking with this personal injury attorney, and I said, well, what made you decide to become a lawyer? And she's like, When I was 20 years old, I was crossing the street and got hit by a car, and the doctor said I was never going to walk again. And I had a personal injury attorney who completely screwed up my case, and I didn't get a penny. So I was determined that if I got out of this chair, I was going to law school, and I was going to make sure no one else was treated that way again. Well, but I don't have to write anything. There you go. That is your pitch, because no one is going to forget that now.

RJ Redden [00:15:46]:

Exactly. It's about being memorable.

Merrill Loechner [00:15:50]:

Exactly. Especially if you're a power network and you go to all these hundreds of meetings, you meet, like, 500 people a week. You'll maybe remember three, and it's sometimes for good reasons. Wow, this person was really interesting. I want to do a one on one. Hey, I can refer these people to my clients or oh, dear merciful God. He spoke for five minutes, and I still have no idea what he does.

RJ Redden [00:16:20]:

Oh, I'm only laughing because I know what you're saying. Holy moly. Yes. How do you stand out? Have you ever in all of your travels, in all of the jobs that you have done, have you ever met somebody who didn't have a story?

Merrill Loechner [00:16:41]:

I've met a lot of people who didn't think they had a story. They think, oh, I'm just average. I'm just like everybody else. We're snowflakes. No two of us are alike. Everyone is completely different. And like I said, I learned that when I moved to England. It's just the, oh, they're just going to be like us, but with classier accents. No, it was completely different. I also went to college in New Hampshire. And typical New Yorker. Oh, where are you from? I'm from the island. What island?

RJ Redden [00:17:14]:

Exactly.

Merrill Loechner [00:17:16]:

And so you kind of have to get out of your own head that everyone's like me, I'm nothing special. You are. You've had experiences that nobody else on the planet has had. You have had thoughts. You have read books in a different way. You may see colors differently. I dated a guy in college who was colorblind and didn't find that out until he went on a job interview and showed up in a bright turquoise suit with a bright yellow shirt. And we're like, what are you interviewing for, ice cream man? He didn't know he was colorblind. And you have to realize that you are unique. There's 40 billion coaches out there, but you offer something that no other coach out there does. You have different experiences, different ways of looking at things. That's why I would say don't surround yourself with yourself because you need those different perspectives, another way of looking at something you could be 100% sure you're right. Until someone asks a question, you go, oh, I never thought of it that way. And if you can surround yourself with people like that as a coach, that's what you need to be for your clients. You need to be that alternate perspective to get people out of their own heads, to get out of their own ways and see, oh, I never thought of it that way. Oh, I've never seen it from that perspective before. And that's why coaches are so important. It is guiding people out of their heads. And yeah, sometimes coaches need coaches to do just that.

RJ Redden [00:18:54]:

Most of us, I think, need at least one other person. Yeah, absolutely. Gosh, you are so passionate about storytelling. It's one reason that I wanted to have you on is because if you think of the stories that have shaped our lives and this is just a teeny little thing, but a couple of weeks ago, I was watching YouTube or something, and they're interviewing Steven Wright. I don't know if you remember this guy.

Merrill Loechner [00:19:27]:

Yeah, I powdered water and don't know what to add to it.

RJ Redden [00:19:31]:

Yes, I have been asking tiny newborn babies if they're still tired from the move for 30 years. I was watching that interview with him and how much of my way that I'm funny is shaped by this dude, this dude's little teeny teeny stories. But his stories, the way that he told them, it was memorable.

Merrill Loechner [00:20:04]:

We hear something and we remember it, because, again, there's an emotional attachment, something that made us laugh, something that made us sad, something that wowed us. If you have that strong emotional attachment, it's long term memory, and we talk about it. Some was talking about years ago during the Super Bowl, they had the cat herder commercial where it's a bunch of cowboys bringing in a herd of cats. Great commercial because it had longevity. Horrible commercial because no one remembered what it was trying to sell. And someone said a few years ago, I'm like, that was over 30 years ago. But those of us who've seen it still remember that because we laughed like hell because there was that emotional attachment. But one of the things you also have to explain to some people is the monetary value of a good story, because when you talk storytelling, it sounds la la la la, new Age, blah blah blah. I need facts and figures. In 2009, there was this really interesting experiment called the Significant Objects Project. And what it was is these two guys decided to see the monetary value of a story. So they went out to a bunch of garage sales and flea markets and Goodwill and bought 100 things for a dollar. So it was like number one dad mug or hula dancer in a snow globe. The chotchki, the weird goo gas. And so they had 100 of these things. And then they reached out to writers saying, I want you to write a 500 word story about this thing. And so they had 500 things and 100 things and 100 stories, and they put each story to the object and put them on ebay and let the auction run for a week. They spent $100. They generated over $3,600 because this cheap number one dad mug suddenly has the I remember my father the week before he died, and it was this emotional story about stories sell, stories sell. And again, you're attaching that emotional everyone's talking about content. Oh, we need to generate content. I need content from my website. I need content from my blog. Content is great, but you need context, too. The three questions I always ask people, who are you? What do you do? Why should I care? And context is the why should I care? So when people are doing their pitch or whatnot, there's like, oh, I'm so and so, and I do this. If you need someone who does this, give me a call.

RJ Redden [00:22:58]:

Heard it a million times.

Merrill Loechner [00:22:59]:

If you tell me a story, if you tell me either your own why or if you can't to the life of you, think of an interesting why. Tell the stories of your clients. I have one person who helps people with her credit score. She will tell you her name and where she works. And my client of the week is this. And these are all the happy endings she's able to help clients achieve. And so, yeah, if you're a coach and you can't for the life of you think, well, I can't think of anything that makes me special. A, go back to work. You'll find something. But talk about the clients you've helped. I was working with this one CEO, this major block, and we worked together, and he suddenly realized where this block was coming from. And three years later, he had moved to a better company. That had better if you give examples, if you tell other people's stories, especially when you're a coach, you're usually on the hero's journey, because the hero of your stories isn't you. It's your client.

RJ Redden [00:24:05]:

It's them.

Merrill Loechner [00:24:06]:

You are obiwan. You are Gandalf. You are the mentor that will guide them through the jungles and the swamps and the minefields and show them how to avoid things so when they get back to the beginning, that they can now take on the mentor role for the next hero that comes along.

RJ Redden [00:24:23]:

Yeah, exactly. It's not about you. It's not about you, how you do what you do. It's not all of those things that we want to educate people with. It's all about them.

Merrill Loechner [00:24:39]:

Yeah. I always joke, America's favorite radio station, W IIFM. What's in it for me?

RJ Redden [00:24:44]:

Yeah. That is so fabulous. What's in it for me? Well, but that's true. So many people like the content thing you were talking about. Yeah. Generate content. We got to have content, content, content. You know what people aren't looking anymore for? Top ten reasons why you should, whatever the heck it is.

Merrill Loechner [00:25:14]:

Look at our slideshow with all these ads around.

RJ Redden [00:25:17]:

Yeah. People don't care anymore. People are starting to I mean, I think the pendulum is swinging to more customized personalized individual. It doesn't get any more customized individualized than your own thumbprint, than your own story.

Merrill Loechner [00:25:36]:

Absolutely. And understanding the person you're speaking to, understanding their story and getting it, and you're like, you and I have walked along the same path. This is great. Or you live in a world I know nothing about, and I'm completely fascinated. I want to learn more.

RJ Redden [00:25:55]:

Exactly. That's what we want to leave people with. It's no longer about who can teach who what. We got resources for that, people. It's called the Internet.

Merrill Loechner [00:26:09]:

Yeah, pretty much. It's the type in whatever. You're going to find an answer. It may be the wrong answer, but you're going to find an answer. But yes, the whole networking thing is no, like and trust. But the no part is so important. It's the not only can I trust this person with me, can I trust this person with my business? Can I trust this person with my network? And again, it's the power of story that once we understand each other's story, we get to know each other. We get to know what's important with each other. And the fastest way to build that connection is to make someone feel known, feel seen. This person gets me.

RJ Redden [00:26:57]:

Exactly. This person gets me because especially with coaches, where some of us are people that like to kind of get down in deep with other people, that's a state of vulnerability. That is a state that people kind of are afraid to be in sometimes. And where there's no trust, there's no connection.

Merrill Loechner [00:27:20]:

Yeah. No, absolutely. And pretty much without that story, you're transactional. The first thing people are going to do is price. It's like, oh, that seems kind of expensive. I was talking to another coach, and they're much cheaper than you. I mean, seriously, when you watch Apple introduce the iPhone 100 or whatever the hell I have to do, they ever talk price? This is the brand. This is the cool thing that does. You want it, you're going to buy it. It's the whole shut up and take my money thing.

RJ Redden [00:27:52]:

Yeah.

Merrill Loechner [00:27:53]:

And because if you don't have that differentiator. If you don't have that inherent value, it's transactional. Yeah, you're kind of expensive. I found this guy in the Philippines on fiverr. I'm just going to go that way.

RJ Redden [00:28:06]:

Yeah, exactly.

Merrill Loechner [00:28:10]:

Again, the significant objects, if you have a good story, you can charge more.

RJ Redden [00:28:16]:

Always.

Merrill Loechner [00:28:17]:

It means more, it has more value. And it's that not so much the intrinsic value as the appealed value. It's the this values to me more. There's a personal care brand called the Beekman Boys, or Beekman 18 one. And when they first started, it was two gay guys in a farm goat farm in upstate New York trying to figure out how to pay the mortgage on a farm. And one way they did this, they grew these kind of tomatoes that were developed during the Depression called Mortgage Lifter. And like, okay, we're going to make spaghetti sauce out of Mortgage Lifter tomatoes. And if you buy this spaghetti sauce, you're going to help us pay off the farm's mortgage. Great. Then they were in a reality show, won a million dollars, and like, cool, we can pay off our own mortgage, but we have this whole process. I know we're going to pay off other farmers mortgages. And so you go to Target, you go into their spaghetti sauce. You see their spaghetti sauce next to acme spaghetti sauce. Acme spaghetti sauce is $0.99. Their spaghetti sauce is $7.99. You look at the ingredients, exact same ingredients. They couldn't keep their spaghetti sets on the because every time I bought it, I like these guys, I want to see them succeed. And I'm helping a farmer pay off their mortgage. Yes, I buying the story. I'm buying ninety nine cents of spaghetti sauce and $7 worth of story.

RJ Redden [00:29:46]:

Well, that's the central theme right there, is that people will absolutely. It elevates the relationship quality. It speeds up the get to know you process. It does so many things, and knowing how to do it right is absolutely essential. So I'm going to put this link up for folks. Will you tell people it's the link to get a hold of you here. There it is.

Merrill Loechner [00:30:20]:

Yes. That is my website. It's. Smithdouglaswith twosses.com. Smith is my mom's maiden name. Douglas is my grandmother's name. I'm the third generation of women who work, and I started Smith Douglas Associates. And the associates are all the people I surround myself with who do things that I can't do. So if you come to me like Merrill, I need a so. And so I can either I can help you or I got a guy.

RJ Redden [00:30:46]:

Yeah, exactly. Hit this lady up on the website. It's vital these days that you know how to tell your story properly. It's vital that you know your audience well enough to connect with them. If you don't know how to do that, it is super possible to lose out to all of the to think that you need to put up another ten knowledge pieces. It's vital that people know your story. My folks?

Merrill Loechner [00:31:18]:

No, absolutely. Here's the other clue. Once you've got your story, you have to figure out different ways to tell it, because, remember, you need to speak different languages to different people. So you may think this is really important, while the person you're speaking to may think something else is important. So know what your core message is, and then you need to learn how to tell that story in different ways to different people.

RJ Redden [00:31:43]:

Yeah, you do. You can't tell the same story at a three day event that you do on a 15 minutes summit spot.

Merrill Loechner [00:31:53]:

Exactly.

RJ Redden [00:31:56]:

So know your story, know the difference in your audiences, know these things, and most importantly, get to know Meryl, because she is ridiculously fun and the lady absolutely knows her stuff. Last question before we go. Meryl, how do you engage your audience?

Merrill Loechner [00:32:19]:

Talk. We talk a lot. And like I said, I find out again, their stories. What made you decide to become a financial advisor or a lawyer or a biophysicist or a janitor? Because everyone's a walking autobiography. Everyone knows at least one thing I don't know, and damn it, I want to know what it is exactly. So always be curious. Have that little kid curiosity and why did you do that? Who, where, when? If you can talk to someone and they make them feel like the the most interesting person on the planet, that's some major superpower right there.

RJ Redden [00:33:02]:

It's beautiful. And well, thank you for referencing superpowers as well. Special points for that. Beautiful. Well, my friends, it's about time to wrap it up and go for this week Just the Power of Story. I can't stop telling you about this. I can't, because there's nothing more compelling, nothing that speeds up a relationship more and told in the right way to the right people. So do. This thing. We will, of course, be back. Same bot time, same bot channel. Next week. Next week holding an event as well with my friend Steve Rosenbaum. And we're going to be talking about a brand new way to welcome people in your tribe, connect with people and welcome them to your tribe. In 42 seconds. He says 42. I want to know what's happening in 42 because that's pretty fast.

Merrill Loechner [00:34:06]:

You know where your towel is and.

RJ Redden [00:34:09]:

You got to know where your towel is. Thank you for that reference. You are amazing with references. Clearly, this is the woman who knows the stories. So thank you, everybody. Thank you, Meryl, for coming on and hanging out with us and letting my community meet you. This has been awesome.

Merrill Loechner [00:34:26]:

It's been a pleasure. Have a fantastic weekend.

RJ Redden [00:34:29]:

All right, everybody. We will see you in a bot.